Posts tagged college life

So about three months ago I moved out of an apartment with a d*ck-hole roommate who was full of himself and wanted everything done his way. He would complain about every little thing wrong in the apartment and always blamed me. Needless to say, I got really sick of it. One night when he was over at his gf’s for the night, my good bud and me pissed all over his bike from the balcony which froze over night. The next day, my roomie came up to me asking about his bike and if I knew anything about it. Of course, I said no. Then he played it off saying that it must have been ‘plant killer spray’ to kill the plants around the apartment building before winter. I almost lost it when he sniffed and licked his fingers to make sure it was.
Jake R., NDSU

Well, my roommate and I were doing the same major and he constantly stole my work and passed it off as his own. I was pretty certain in didn’t even read it before sending it. So every second word I wrote bastard and every fifth penis. In my conclusion I kindly told the teacher to “go f*ck himself”. The best part was that after getting in trouble he actually had the nerve to confront me about MY work. I taped the conversation and reported him to the college. I never saw him again.
Fred Dodge, School Not Given
I didn’t think it was funny that you poured flavored lube into the water pitcher, so I put all my cigarettes out in your shoe for like two weeks it was like 4 boxes worth of butts in there. Sorry that your girlfriend thought you were smoking again. And sorry she dumped you. Next time don’t be such a d-bag.
Antoine Tatum, School Not Given
Not really a confession but a story. My friends, Will and Terry, got in an argument over a basketball game a year back. Will got up to get a beer, shook it up, and gave it to Terry. That started an awesome chain of events that went through filling cars with packing peanuts, calling each other at work to get the other in trouble, and various other small scale pranks. Well one night it got turned up a notch. Terry threw a party but Will decided not to go, his girlfriend did though. Terry proceeded to get her drunk and fool around with her then send a picture to Will saying “looks like I win’. Will then got a circular saw and cut the top of his car off. Terry got mad and reported that Will was selling drugs from his apartment to the cops, so Will set his mailbox on fire. It was a great month to be alive. I’m glad I helped them prank each other with the other not knowing.
Brosideon Lord of the Brocean, IUSB
I got a new roommate and in the first week I caught him jacking off 3 times. The 3rd time I walked in on him he just said “fuck it” and kept going.
Anonymous, School Not Given
Krogh, remember how you would always come in the room drunk off your ass? Do you remember how you would eat my food, drink my beer and leave dirty dishes in the sink? Do you remember using my TV and stereo when I was out of the room, and refused to pay half of the cable bill? I remember all of that. Do you remember how all of the sudden you had a bed wetting problem? First you thought you were pissing yourself when you were drunk. But then you started pissing yourself in your sleep, even sober. You even went to go see the doc about this. You begged me to promise not to tell anyone, but I did anyway. As it turns out, I was pissing on you all that time. You never figured it out when I didn’t sleep in the room and you didn’t “piss” yourself. The entire platoon hated you so much, some people would pay me to allow them to piss on you while you were sleeping. As much as I hated you as a room mate, I loved messing with you.
Dave, School Not Given
My roommate and I shared a bedroom and he would always keep me up until the wee hours of the morning playing World of Warcraft with his friends and communicating with a headset. For a long time I would just tell him to be quiet or to play without the headset if I was trying to sleep. My pleas went mostly ignored. After months of this abuse, I made it a personal policy to go onto his computer while he was in class and delete an important file from World of Warcraft every time he kept me up the night before. When he got home, eager to get back on and play, he would find that his game didn’t work (for some reason) and that he had to re-install the whole game, including the several GBs worth of patches. It took about two hours on average to get everything installed. He slowly lost interest in the game after coming home to that everyday.
James O., Oklahoma State
My new roommate overflowed the toilet really badly a couple times and refused to go buy a plunger. Even after I went and bought a plunger he still didn’t use it. I know this because one day me and my girlfriend were in the bathroom getting ready for class and she said, “it really smells like shit in here.” Apparently my roommate was so afraid of overflowing the toilet again that he started to throw his butt wiped toilet paper into the garbage instead of risking clogging the toilet again.
J Huoli, University of Wisconsin Oshkosh
I lived with my girlfriend and two others for about 6 months. She developed quite a taste for alcohol and would drink to the point of being blacked out and freak out on me or the other roommates. We all got pretty sick of her crap, but couldn’t find anyone to replace her and we weren’t able to afford her portion of the rent. One night, passed out after exhausting herself from drinking and throwing beer cans at me I decided to start drinking. After a few beers I started to piss a lot and luckily her jeans were sitting next to the toilet. Throughout the night i drenched those pants with my urine several times. The next morning she went to work, I woke up to leak and the pants were gone. She had worn them to work. When she got home she complained that they stunk and I played the fool. After that it became a regular habit to pee on her stuff when she was being insane.
Annonymous, KSU
I had this really dirty roommate, or I guess housemate. The dirtiest man I have ever set eyes on. He kept the entire house in a complete state of repulsiveness consistently throughout the days. One day he asked me for toilet paper because he was all out. I had none, so I said no, and he gave me a disgruntled look and entered the washroom with a red shirt in his hand. I didn’t think much of it at the time but later on that day when I saw that same red shirt in a small bucket drenched in brown tinted water and smelling of the distinct odor of shit, I realized he wiped his ass with his own shirt, and planned on soaking the shirt in water to clean it. He had a poop bucket with his poopy shirt in it! He was going to wear the shirt again! Worse yet, he put the dirty poop bucket in the kitchen sink. The next morning I put on a pair of rubber gloves and slapped him in the face to wake him up. Just as he was opening his eyes, (and his mouth), I poured the dirty atrocitized bucket of poop, water, and his shirt onto his face, into his mouth, and all over his bed. He moved out shortly after.
Anonymous, School Not Given